Celebration of a birth

The Birth 
 

Exactly two years ago I was a nervous, expectant father. I was eagerly awaiting the arrival of my new offspring. But this was different.

Much of the lead up to the delivery was familiar. After all I had become a fond father four times before.

Conception had happened 10 months before, at a romantic setting in India. Afterwards. I had been to see the midwife and received good advice on how to prepare. Then I had attended pre-natal classes once a week, as a dutiful father does.

I had experienced all the agonies of doubt, joy, excitement and confusion. The midwife and her team were doing great work, and now the time was nigh …

Yet this was not the birth of a human baby but the arrival of my newly minted book, “Feel it as a Man: a fool’s guide to relationships” 

Conception


The idea had come to me in the gardens of the Taj Mahal in late 2017. On my return home I had visited Mindy Gibbins-Klein (aka the Book Midwife) at her offices in St Albans. I sketched out a rough free-writing view of the book I wanted to write: to encapsulate my personal experience of two failed marriages and mixed, inaccessible emotions; my life story would be wrapped around some of the emotional and neurological expertise I had encountered in that time and in writing my book.

You see, when you write a book you will find, almost for sure, that the universe is behind you all the way.

Mindy encouraged me to compose mindmaps on my main topics: relationships, communications, although Communications come first and this is the heading of Chapter 1, with Relationships Chapter 2. They are followed by Feelings, Thinking, Intimacy, Work and Money, Learning plus four more general interest chapters.

From that first mindmap I produced another for each of my chapter headings; and the branches of each of those mindmaps became useful signposts for writing, with sub-headings in the book.

Mindy also pledged to stand behind me all the way and act as my mentor, providing a weekly chance to share my writing; she reacted uncritically but thoughtfully, and drove away the demons of doubt and negativity which plague most writers.
 
 Process


My task was to write for 2 hours, 5 days a week, with a final target of 40,000+ words. I chose to write in the mornings in the same place and at the same time every day, away from all distractions, with my phone switched off.

On Thursdays I emailed my latest writing to Mindy and we spoke every Friday.

As a journalist I had to set a deadline: I started writiing in January 2018 and was determined to deliver my first draft – known in the publishing world as “a sh*tty first draft – on 23 April, Shakespeare’s birthday and St George’s Day.

With the huge help of the Book Midwife and the Universe, I met my target. I had good days and bad days, but my first job was done.

My next task was to edit, expand, rewrite and add details which I had deliberately left as blanks with notes in the manuscript. Mindy advised me to leave checking facts and researching further until the first draft was finished. She said that, as a trained journalist, I would hardly get much beyond the first chapter as I would be constantly editing, researching and rewriting, unless I completed the first draft relentlessly.


Final term and delivery
So, a month of revisions was followed by the production process at Panoma. This included finding images, proofreading and checking, and passing for press. The devil is in the detail, and that’s where good editors and publishers specialise.

Now the marketing began, with some initial help from Panoma in helping me to find publications online and offline where I could contribute articles. And the marketing continues – Mindy warned me that this process could take 5 years or more.

Who knows when a book by an unknown author will be picked up by a celebrity champion? Maybe never. 
That doesn’t matter, because I’m happy with my creation, for all its faults. 
 

The future
 

Well, I’m still hopeful, and I remain ever grateful to the Book Midwife for her care and attention in the creation and delivery of this new baby.

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